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    « The New Writing Guru | Main | Summer Books Bonanza and that Kindle Piece »

    May 26, 2009

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    This is so horrifying, and the sense of that comes right out of your words undiluted. Looking forward to the next installment, if "looking forward" is the way to put it.

    Why'd they talk her out of jumping? We'd have been well rid of this cruel and evil person.

    I'm fascinated by this. Well told.

    As always in these inexplicably horrific cases, the reaction is more of a Rorschach for the public than it is any explanation for what could've happened.

    "As always in these inexplicably horrific cases, the reaction is more of a Rorschach for the public than it is any explanation for what could've happened."

    Yes; 100% yes. I have had people write saying, this must have been incredibly difficult for me to write. Actually, it wasn't, and probably because I am walking one step at a time toward this story, taking in one inch of the frame at a time. We hear about stories like this, and we think, never! Never! But if you stop for a minute and think about the most horrible you can possibly imagine, just horrible, being flayed, or dipped in acid, or killing your own children... we are capable of thinking these thoughts, and it doesn't make us evil, and it doesn't make us callous. It makes us human, and my drive is to understand how a woman gets to where she got. It's too easy, in my line of work, to say, she's evil. That doesn't answer anything. Better, for me, to walk very slowly around and around and start to take the measure of things.

    I can't even think the thought about my own children; the mind recoils. Same with others, if to a lesser degree. But even if I could think it, from thinking to speaking to planning to doing is a journey of a million million miles. I have not the least interest in the precise moments of selfishness and cruelty that brought this creature to her depraved state. I wish they had let her jump.

    zev,

    two things:

    there's a truck load and a half of mental illness out there

    and

    who taught you to wish death on another person?

    There's also a truckload and a half of people who plead insanity but who are merely wicked.

    I have no problem wishing death on people who deal it out themselves, especially when the victims are their own children.

    Steve,

    There's also two truckloads and a half of people who plead insanity but who are merely wicked. And there's another truckload or two of people who are both insane and wicked. Since when is mental illness a free pass to murder?

    I have no problem wishing death upon people who deal it out themselves, especially when the victims are their own children. There's such a thing as misplaced compassion, and for me, murderes fall on the other side of the line.

    And in any case, I didn't recommend anyone kill her, but only that she not be saved from herself.

    Sorry about the double post. I posted and then wanted to add something and it looked like the whole thing disappeared, so I rewrote.

    I just did the same thing on a friend's site! No worries x

    I think we disagree.

    Steve: Definitely.

    Nancy: Well, I did this one on a friend's site too. :)

    Nancy - I like that you are slowly taking in this story. It takes a lot to push a person to the point that she was at and I am interested in finding out what was going through her brain and how she reached that point. It IS easy to say that people are evil, but really, if we knew what they went through, what they were thinking, they are not so far from us. At least that's what I've found.

    There hung an awkwardness in the air today, as the adults gave fake half-grins to each other, slowly greeting each child to the last day of preschool. It’s one thing to see a story in the news(and be horrified), and I have found it is quite another when you’ve tousled the hair of the victim and knew what character was on their lunchbox; when your child was their buddy in class.

    They tell me she went to George Fox and was a doting stay-at-home mom. I didn’t know her, but she has stood right next to me….if she is so evil, why couldn’t I tell? And if she’s not evil, what “broke in her?” “Broke in her” are the words my homicide detective-friend used to try and help me make sense of it all (everyone should have one of those kinds of friends).

    And as I sit here, reading this blog, I think of the numerous divorces I have witnessed. The cruelty once-lovers punch out to each other, the screaming, premeditated manipulation with the children as pawns….and I think…hell, it’s no wonder some people snap. And that kids are messed up. How dare people think it is okay to treat each other this way when they have parented children….PRECIOUS children together. As horrified as I am about what Amanda did, I keep thinking of the cop telling me she was broken….and I am starting to wonder if he is right….and that this is what can happen when broken people are pushed and pushed and pushed and don’t get the right help or support. And I don’t find myself feeling too much empathy for the father, because I wonder what he did to contribute to her mental snap. What did he say to her on the last phone call just prior to her horrific downfall? I bet he plays that conversation over and over in his head.

    I think you are on to something and hope you find an answer.

    Nancy, Well written.
    I hope you will take the time to talk to some lawyers and court staff because there is a lot of information that you provided above that has more meaning to someone used to dealing with the court system. (For example, if she was wearing the green 'turtle suit' that means she is on a mental health watch of some sort in the jail. All "in custody" people will be wearing jail issued clothing.)

    Nancy, I hope you write the story Dovie needs to read. I think it's also the story Zev needs to read whether he knows it or not. And knowing you, it's the one you can't not write.

    If Nancy writes it I'll read it.

    I'm kinda going nuts waiting for an update, Nancy.

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